I have pretty much felt like an introvert my entire life. Most people who know me don’t believe me when I say this because they see me present to large rooms of people, speak up in meetings, or come across as confident in conversations. Yet I held onto the belief that I am a total introvert, and I only come across this way with all those activities because I have forced myself to get out of my comfort zone. Fake it ‘til you make it, right? I am by no means a natural! I’m the wallflower at social gatherings and even family gatherings. I am absolute rubbish at small talk, and I don’t hold get-togethers at my home.
Why am I telling you all this?
Because with our social distancing and working from home, I am beginning to realize that they were right, I am not an introvert. I simply have learned to enjoy solitude.
I have been doing a lot of self-reflection on this subject lately. I have had the time! What I began realizing was this.
Saying I am an introvert was just my cover story for myself. You see, I used to think I needed to be around people to feel engaged in life and that I was a part of something. I felt this so strongly that I would get down on myself if I wasn’t invited to something. If people didn’t reach out to me, and I always had to reach out to them, I would think that I was unlikable.
Now I see what that was really all about. I was giving myself the gift of self-care. I was feeling guilty and selfish about setting boundaries to do what my heart and mind were telling me to. All along I was using my introversion to hold me back and not be available to those opportunities. So now I’m choosing to embrace the gift and boy, what a difference!
Today I am sharing with you how I embraced my “introversion”. I hope it is helpful to you as well!
Get curious about yourself:
Some people love spending time alone. Others are more prone to feeling uncomfortable or lonely. Regardless of how you currently feel about solitude, there are many benefits to be gained by spending some time alone each day.
If you don’t like being alone, ask yourself why. If you’re not sure, try spending a few hours alone, without distractions, and see what happens.
Alone time can provide a sense of freedom that many of us lack in our day-to-day lives. It’s also a great time to relax and think.
Consider these benefits of spending some time alone:
1. You can do whatever you want. You get to do whatever you want when you’re alone. This can be a blessing if you have a spouse or children! Imagine, you can:
Eat what you want without worrying if everyone likes it.
You control the TV remote and the music station.
You could nap. Getting enough sleep is essential to self-care.
You could read that book you have been meaning to get to.
Take a class or learn a hobby.
You can do anything you can afford to do without having to worry about making someone else happy.
Make the most of the time you have alone, and you’ll grow to love having a little solitude in your life. Remember, this is a well-needed time to refresh so you can do all the things you tackle daily.
2. It’s easier to concentrate. Have you ever noticed how much more you can get done when everyone is out? It doesn’t matter if it’s at home or work. Being alone is a great time to tackle those projects you never seem to have time to do.
3. You learn more about yourself in solitude. It’s much more difficult to be self-aware if you never spend any time by yourself. Your thought processes become more apparent when you’re not distracted by others.
Ideally, try to spend an extended period of time by yourself each year. You could go camping or backpacking by yourself. You could even just stay at home and let everyone know you’re not available. Get comfortable spending time with yourself, and you’ll soon see what a great person you are!
4. You become more compassionate. When you regularly hang out with the same people, you can naturally lose pleasantries because you are so comfortable with them. You’ll be more compassionate toward others if you are more compassionate towards yourself.
5. Creativity increases during periods of solitude. There’s a reason why artists, musicians, writers, and other creative types go into isolation when it’s time to create. Your mind is much freer to wander and develop new ideas. Stuck on an issue you need to solve? This is a great way to tap into your problem-solving.
6. A little solitude makes you happier. Several studies have shown that people that regularly have some time to themselves are more satisfied than those that don’t.
7. You can think deep thoughts. It’s hard to think about your life in a profound and meaningful way when others surround you. Your alone time is the perfect opportunity to work on your more significant challenges, make big decisions, find gratitude, and ponder the meaning of life.
Make sure to schedule periods of solitude into your day. Avoid just using whatever free time you happen to have for seclusion. It’s important enough to plan into your day deliberately. And avoid just scheduling alone time. Proactively plan on how you’re going to use that time for. Be productive with your periods of solitude.
Having some alone time is a gift. If you currently aren’t able to spend some time with yourself, make time. It’s one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Your creativity will increase. You can tackle significant challenges. You could even find yourself being supported by those around you because you are supporting yourself! It’s working for me!
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